attitude adjustments

I'm in serious need of an attitude adjustment-- there are times at my work when little things start to bug me and I wonder, "Really? In the whole scheme of things this is what we're stressing over?" I think about how I much rather be reading, napping or praying in the mornings than to actually strive to be at my job on time.



And, when I do find the time to pray or meditate, somehow I'm already exhausted or just want my mind to go completely numb. So, I'll go home and talk on the phone, read a magazine, or fill in whatever mindless activity.



Tired and spent, but really needing to see Jesus' love, I went to neXus. They were reading over Ecclesiastes and the verse:"It's better to enjoy what we have than to always want something else, because that makes no more sense than chasing the wind." Ecc 6:9 It really struck a nerve in my heart and I started thinking about my frustrations and looked at how much frustration has taken over my attitude.


What I have each day is a provision from God that I should learn to appreciate and enjoy. I know I should be aware of frustration and unfortunate circumstance, but I can't let it take my attitude hostage. I need to see this world with more gratitude.


If I didn't deal with cranky people or have a plethora of work to do, then what am I honestly being paid to do. There wouldn't be anything for me to do if the work was perfectly completed on its own. If I didn't take in the good with the bad, what was the point of me being there. In the midst of lay-offs and people looking for a new job, how grateful was I about my steady paycheck and supportive supervisors and colleagues?


Did I ever think about the longer hours a few of my colleagues put in so I don't have to stay late and do even more work? Did I ever think about the two consecutive nights that my supervisor stayed late with me so my event would go well? Did I honestly appreciate the happy yellow flowers, the baked goodies, and balloons they surprised me with on my three-year anniversary?


It's hard work. But, did I ever think about the hard work that my Compassion child's family has to endure? Did I ever think about the hard work that my parents did in order to send me to school? Or the hard work that the janitors did after an event I managed? There are crazy people and crazy hours. But, it's so easy for people to bitch. Any situation in life can be a bitch session and that's incredibly heartbreaking to think about. Sure you can bitch about what you don't have or it can be an opportunity to let God's love fill in those inadequacies in attitude. It can be a time to find more ways to be grateful. I'm sure there are so many actions that go unnoticed. When will I remove my sense of entitlement and uncover an attitude of gratefulness? When will I stop expecting things to be better and realize that God gives me more than enough and God actually wants me to find the joy in what is already given.


Yeah, I should be aware of frustration and difficulty, but I need to learn to work through it and accept it. Acceptance and working through difficulty are two concepts that our society doesn't like to own up to -- and I am guilty of this as well.


Changing gears a little, but this will help understand acceptance and working through frustration. Have you ever tried to do pigeon pose in yoga? It's a pose where you have to stretch out your hip muscle. If you run a lot, the muscle can get very tight. When I first did the pose, I could barely stay balanced and I felt like I was doing it wrong and was concerned about toppling over. My instructor didn't tell us to modify or quit though. She kept telling us to "push the edges" and to recognize the discomfort and pain because in life that's what we have to do sometimes. Of course, we shouldn't be in the pose if it would injure ourselves, but there is a point where you can slowly and safely breathe into this muscle and accept the discomfort. You can also recognize that you don't have to avoid discomfort. You can slowly and patiently face it, and eventually through patience, you can face that pain better.

I know the analogy might sound lame to people who don't do yoga, but it helps me see my spiritual challenges better. It helps me to appreciate where God has placed me, and if I'm always looking for an opportunity to bitch, I won't recognize the beauty that is already there and how God is overflowing with those blessings.