So, it's 6 months into the year. OOOOOOHH! Ahhhhh!!!!
Kimberly Wilson is encouraging me to work on 8 topics.
1. How do I want to SHINE this summer? What is ready to SHINE but is not coming out because of fear or hesitance?
2. Travel: What choices are we making that prevent us from traveling this summer?
3. Get an Artist Date accomplished every week.
4. Do something that scares you.
5. Create a morning ritual.
6. Reflect on how you spend your time.
7. Get your heart rate up.
8. Reach out.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
All is quiet...
It's been more than a week since I've gotten back from the Philippines, and I still have yet to find a normal sleeping pattern! gaar...
But, that's okay. That's just a sign from my body and from God that I need to learn how to relax and rest. Still have lots of ideas running through my head. It's time for me to hone in on what I really want to do, setting up a plan, and learning ways to plan out my finances and time to invest in it.
Art school today was really good. I feel so out of my element though, but that's okay. Lord knows that I need to get out of my comfort zone. Just as long as I'm experiencing good pain and uncomfortable situations that will work out in the long run. I've got to pick up my art school supplies. I don't want to get kicked out of class. My teacher sounds a little hard core actually. heheheh I want to check out her exhibit at the Lawndale soon!
Prayer time has been good lately. I worked on my spiritual autobiography - I want to lay it out on a larger piece of paper sometime because I think it would be interesting to set aside and look at. Basically a spiritual autobiography is a way to examine how your experiences and past have related to your view and relationship with God. It's interesting how crappy stuff can totally warp your view of God and make you feel -- Geez, God must really hate me because He let this stuff happen to me. And, get all pouty and in a tizzy. It's rather immature and silly, but at the time, you don't feel real great and it does suck.
I like the message that Jack Wisdom taught us on Sunday and the term: Ehyey (or "Ay - yay"). It means "I will be with you." Sometimes that's really all I need to know. In the midst of craziness, stress, cluelessness and busy-ness, "I will be with you" is essentially what I need to know. That trust and confidence in God is crucial for my sanity.
How many times have I failed to look at a situation maturely because I was so afraid that the bottom was gonna fall out or suddenly that job or that relationship was going to bail? "I will be with you" is that promise and that fulfillment that I oftentimes so desperately wanted to hear when I was younger. This life and this world is so temporary. Thus, we invest so much in wanting to feel secure and comfortable by spending time on some of the most meaningless stuff (even stuff that we think is important like your career or school --> but just doing it for the wrong reasons). Ehyey -- I thank God I have Him.
I will continue to create a finished product of my spiritual autobiography and continue working through these Augustine spiritual exercises. I'm hopeful that I can just continue to be open and flexible -- slowly we can all work on discovering who God intended for us to be. It just takes time, stillness, quiet, and reflection. Easier said than done... but I'm excited about the summer, I think it will be a good time to really challenge and think about things.
But, that's okay. That's just a sign from my body and from God that I need to learn how to relax and rest. Still have lots of ideas running through my head. It's time for me to hone in on what I really want to do, setting up a plan, and learning ways to plan out my finances and time to invest in it.
Art school today was really good. I feel so out of my element though, but that's okay. Lord knows that I need to get out of my comfort zone. Just as long as I'm experiencing good pain and uncomfortable situations that will work out in the long run. I've got to pick up my art school supplies. I don't want to get kicked out of class. My teacher sounds a little hard core actually. heheheh I want to check out her exhibit at the Lawndale soon!
Prayer time has been good lately. I worked on my spiritual autobiography - I want to lay it out on a larger piece of paper sometime because I think it would be interesting to set aside and look at. Basically a spiritual autobiography is a way to examine how your experiences and past have related to your view and relationship with God. It's interesting how crappy stuff can totally warp your view of God and make you feel -- Geez, God must really hate me because He let this stuff happen to me. And, get all pouty and in a tizzy. It's rather immature and silly, but at the time, you don't feel real great and it does suck.
I like the message that Jack Wisdom taught us on Sunday and the term: Ehyey (or "Ay - yay"). It means "I will be with you." Sometimes that's really all I need to know. In the midst of craziness, stress, cluelessness and busy-ness, "I will be with you" is essentially what I need to know. That trust and confidence in God is crucial for my sanity.
How many times have I failed to look at a situation maturely because I was so afraid that the bottom was gonna fall out or suddenly that job or that relationship was going to bail? "I will be with you" is that promise and that fulfillment that I oftentimes so desperately wanted to hear when I was younger. This life and this world is so temporary. Thus, we invest so much in wanting to feel secure and comfortable by spending time on some of the most meaningless stuff (even stuff that we think is important like your career or school --> but just doing it for the wrong reasons). Ehyey -- I thank God I have Him.
I will continue to create a finished product of my spiritual autobiography and continue working through these Augustine spiritual exercises. I'm hopeful that I can just continue to be open and flexible -- slowly we can all work on discovering who God intended for us to be. It just takes time, stillness, quiet, and reflection. Easier said than done... but I'm excited about the summer, I think it will be a good time to really challenge and think about things.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
wow - I know! No blogging, no love and no time!
So, I am back here again! I hope to honestly make an effort this summer to write in this. I miss the free time that I had to share some of my thoughts, and I think that when someone doesn't have that space and time to sort/settle/ and clean up the mind -- it can be a very dangerous circumstance. You may be wondering what the heck I have been up to lately. Let's just say that from March up until about now has been pretty busy and hectic. It got so bad that my body decided to take her own vacation and was out of commission for four days with bronchitis in April. Then, I took a two-week vacation to the Motherland. I hope to share some of what I've learned from the trip. I'll definitely have to tell you about:
- Jollibee
- Driver/bodyguards
- Swimming with tropical fish, running on the beach and ziplining over the jungle
- And, the not so pretty: father-daughter bonding at 2am and crying on a bus
I've also got a ton of ideas/projects brewing in my crazy, overactive mind.
- Continuing my thoughts and exercises on prayer: Thanks to Ignatian Spiritual exercises!
- The Russians: I'm trying to finish The Idiot and am tempted to move on to Lolita. I've got tickets to Swan Lake - woohoo!
- Preparing for graduate school: becoming MACinized, taking a summer drawing class, figuring out if this is really what I need to be doing
- This is triathlon season: I would like to compete in three triathlons this summer.
- Surfing camp in July: I totally missed out on this last summer, and I really want to go.
- Spain: Trying to get the heck out of dodge again? Gotta make some choices and see if I can get over there this summer.
- Choosing and investing in my dreams/future: Yeah, what the heck am I doing? I am back into that part of my life where I'm not sure what it going on? I'm bored/restless/craving something new. But, what that is exactly? I have no clue!
- Doing My Shit the Right Way: I know I run my mouth, say uncouth things and can be really LOUD! How does one continue to change and respond to stress with grace, class, and style? Regardless of my circumstance, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Do I honestly believe that?
- Jollibee
- Driver/bodyguards
- Swimming with tropical fish, running on the beach and ziplining over the jungle
- And, the not so pretty: father-daughter bonding at 2am and crying on a bus
I've also got a ton of ideas/projects brewing in my crazy, overactive mind.
- Continuing my thoughts and exercises on prayer: Thanks to Ignatian Spiritual exercises!
- The Russians: I'm trying to finish The Idiot and am tempted to move on to Lolita. I've got tickets to Swan Lake - woohoo!
- Preparing for graduate school: becoming MACinized, taking a summer drawing class, figuring out if this is really what I need to be doing
- This is triathlon season: I would like to compete in three triathlons this summer.
- Surfing camp in July: I totally missed out on this last summer, and I really want to go.
- Spain: Trying to get the heck out of dodge again? Gotta make some choices and see if I can get over there this summer.
- Choosing and investing in my dreams/future: Yeah, what the heck am I doing? I am back into that part of my life where I'm not sure what it going on? I'm bored/restless/craving something new. But, what that is exactly? I have no clue!
- Doing My Shit the Right Way: I know I run my mouth, say uncouth things and can be really LOUD! How does one continue to change and respond to stress with grace, class, and style? Regardless of my circumstance, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Do I honestly believe that?
Monday, May 4, 2009
long time no blogging!
I miss writing in this thing. sniff... sniff...Sorry I have been so ragged and busy. I promise I will write in this thing this week. Just been a very traumatizing month for me, and I am still trying to readjust to things.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
being present
Sometimes I have trouble focusing with what tasks are on hand. Somehow I'm either playing catch-up or I'm trying to feverishly anticipate for the next big thing coming around the corner. Were we made to run around at such a disgustingly frenetic pace?
I don't know about you, but I'm actually fed up with it.
And, I'm contributing to that pace. When I agree to doing something I don't really want to do... When I agree to doing something out of guilt and not of love... When I take on too much stuff... When I commit to too much stuff and I end up looking like a frosted flake... When I ask people to do something and pressure them into it...
It's time for me to really honor what it means to take a Sabbath. The word is based on the word Shabbat in Hebrew meaning "to cease." I'm trying to remember the last Sunday evening where I honestly felt rested... Where I was so rested and relaxed I was ready to take on the next week... There's a term called the Sunday night blues where people suffer a mild form of depression because they know that Monday is just around the corner.
I'm ready to feel renewed and relaxed.
I hope that I will wake up on Sunday and truly honor what it means "to cease."
I don't know about you, but I'm actually fed up with it.
And, I'm contributing to that pace. When I agree to doing something I don't really want to do... When I agree to doing something out of guilt and not of love... When I take on too much stuff... When I commit to too much stuff and I end up looking like a frosted flake... When I ask people to do something and pressure them into it...
It's time for me to really honor what it means to take a Sabbath. The word is based on the word Shabbat in Hebrew meaning "to cease." I'm trying to remember the last Sunday evening where I honestly felt rested... Where I was so rested and relaxed I was ready to take on the next week... There's a term called the Sunday night blues where people suffer a mild form of depression because they know that Monday is just around the corner.
I'm ready to feel renewed and relaxed.
I hope that I will wake up on Sunday and truly honor what it means "to cease."
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
where am I in the project
Since I've finished two weeks of this crazy project (100 miles, 100 prayers, $100 to charity and 100 hours of service) thus far, here's where I am:
:: $100 raised - I still have to put the money in Sheila's fundraising page
:: 10.75 hours in service to others
:: 22 miles
:: 15 sessions in meditation, prayer, and/or delving into the Word
I don't know why this feels weird tracking my progress. It's not like you can buy a Nike watch which tracks the activities on my soul either.
Continue to pray that this doesn't become legalistic. That what I'm doing pleases God and doesn't delineate from that path.
:: $100 raised - I still have to put the money in Sheila's fundraising page
:: 10.75 hours in service to others
:: 22 miles
:: 15 sessions in meditation, prayer, and/or delving into the Word
I don't know why this feels weird tracking my progress. It's not like you can buy a Nike watch which tracks the activities on my soul either.
Continue to pray that this doesn't become legalistic. That what I'm doing pleases God and doesn't delineate from that path.
tuesday morning prayer
So, here's an interesting exercise in prayer...
I took a legal pad out and I tried to fill it up with things I was thankful to God for. At first it seemed a little weird to me. Who does that? Finds things to be thankful for. Aren't we more in tune to knowing what we need to pray for or are more focused on our inequities and injustices? But, it's humbling and joyful at the same time. It makes you embrace the attitude and belief that God already provides you with more than enough. You should be swimming in His grace. There should be so much in your life already there because He knows our needs already.
So, I scribbled things down and it really forced me to consider what I really invested my time in doing last week and really got me to pin down the good things, events, and people already there in my life. I got to about half the page and wanted to quit, but I kept going. I kept replaying my week and thinking about moments that I almost forgotten about -- searching for the good, the beauty, and joy God keeps giving us. Maybe the next time I do it I won't feel so lame about having a thankful heart. Also, maybe the next time someone does good I'll verbally recognize it and quickly thank the person.
After my crazy thankfulness writing, I delved into the passages Chris Seay mentioned on Sunday. Psalm 25, Genesis 9, 1 Peter 3, and Mark 1. I was especially drawn to Psalm 25. There's humility and beauty in it and if you are ever lost or feeling like crap, it's a good one to look at and pray about. I also liked 1 Peter 3. Will probably read over those two, let those two marinate for the next few days and see what I can do to put what inspires me into action.
Finally, I filled up a sheet on prayers. Wow, it's is so much easier to find things we should pray for as opposed to finding things to be thankful for. I mean God isn't a vending machine by any means, but if we can constantly be looking out for one another, pray for one another, love for one another who knows what God can do with that.
I took a legal pad out and I tried to fill it up with things I was thankful to God for. At first it seemed a little weird to me. Who does that? Finds things to be thankful for. Aren't we more in tune to knowing what we need to pray for or are more focused on our inequities and injustices? But, it's humbling and joyful at the same time. It makes you embrace the attitude and belief that God already provides you with more than enough. You should be swimming in His grace. There should be so much in your life already there because He knows our needs already.
So, I scribbled things down and it really forced me to consider what I really invested my time in doing last week and really got me to pin down the good things, events, and people already there in my life. I got to about half the page and wanted to quit, but I kept going. I kept replaying my week and thinking about moments that I almost forgotten about -- searching for the good, the beauty, and joy God keeps giving us. Maybe the next time I do it I won't feel so lame about having a thankful heart. Also, maybe the next time someone does good I'll verbally recognize it and quickly thank the person.
After my crazy thankfulness writing, I delved into the passages Chris Seay mentioned on Sunday. Psalm 25, Genesis 9, 1 Peter 3, and Mark 1. I was especially drawn to Psalm 25. There's humility and beauty in it and if you are ever lost or feeling like crap, it's a good one to look at and pray about. I also liked 1 Peter 3. Will probably read over those two, let those two marinate for the next few days and see what I can do to put what inspires me into action.
Finally, I filled up a sheet on prayers. Wow, it's is so much easier to find things we should pray for as opposed to finding things to be thankful for. I mean God isn't a vending machine by any means, but if we can constantly be looking out for one another, pray for one another, love for one another who knows what God can do with that.
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