Longing to Bloom

Sometimes I feel like my growth is not moving at the pace I want it to, and it can be so, so frustrating at times. You are hoping for signs, indicators - anything to show you that you are on the right path. Sometimes it can be emotionally frustrating during the waiting period, but these pauses are so crucial in your time of maturation.

I have to take a deep breathe and remember to be nice to myself. I have to reflect on:

Surrendering- Give up on my ideas and plans, especially the unrealistic ones where I am moving at lightening pace and am perfect. I must also learn to surrender my selfish ideas of where I should be. Let it go. So there is space to grow and expand in the way I was meant to.

Trusting- I have to trust and belief in the divine nature of life. I am not isolated in my problems, but I must trust that with my support system of people I am a part of that I will grow, mature, and change. When I'm not fighting the diving plan, it's when I honestly believe that God is there working in me, building patience, and confidence in me.

Accepting- I must be able to honestly look at my skills and weaknesses. Use whatever I have and accept that it is enough in life. I must accept that whatever my day's challenge is - is good enough and perhaps more than enough for me to handle.

and

Receiving- And, ultimately, I must be open to receiving. Once the space in my heart is more open, I have to realize that life has more possibilities. That I don't need to go at anything alone. Many people go through frustrating growth patterns, and others out there are willing to help and give, as well.

I honestly wish I knew what my next step in life will be. The frustration on not knowing where to go and not know sure of my path can be a mixed bag: exciting because you know that there is something around the corner and yet heartbreaking when you feel like you aren't making traction.

I long to bloom and grow. My mind is filled with so many ideas and things that I could be doing. I am hoping that one comes up to the surface and I get the confidence to dive in. And, I know I am at a holding pattern where I don't see the growth. I continue to focus on: surrender, trust, accept and receive.

Labor Day Weekend - reflecting and dreaming

 

I enjoyed a decadent and relaxing four day weekend here at home recently. Labor Day marks the end of summer (despite the warmish, light days still lingering in September). The above photo is a reminder of the sweet memories of the free pool

August Dreams Reflection
* as a I return to my work, I hope I put in the creativity and energy I need to do well in my transition time. Done! - I started incorporation walks around campus, working out of the cafe just to have a change in scenery, slowed down my pace in order to have more meaningful contact and projects instead of doing a harried and rushed high volume of tasks, and have focused more on intention and purpose.

* may my heart be open to new opportunities - teaching, cooking, yoga, running, and any sort of challenge, luxury, and rest Done! - I have moved my art supplies into a studio, done some sketching in the museum of fine arts, done yoga at the museum, lulu, and yoga one, started running at the BON Club, did the hot undies run, and fought in a 100 gallons of chocolate pudding!


* searching for a spiritual and lifestyle mentor In progress! Met Kim Wilson (author, entrepreneur and yogi) about starting my small business and other small business owners to get their ideas for inspiration.

* crafting a creative and spiritual community In progress! Started going back to services on Sunday, listen to inspiring podcasts, morning page reflecting, and reading. Also, I will be involved with the women's group at my church this fall.

* continuing Artist's Way and doing more small business research for my creative talents In progress! Slowly but surely. I have been reading Artist's Way, Sacred Commerce, and Crucial Conversations. Very inspiring reads.

* continuing French class and sign up for art and cooking classes Not done- I have to research some ideas and see where the best place is to invest time and money in this growth area. I am thinking about a trip to New York this fall and Paris in the spring.

* start seriously studying for the GMAT - Not done! Need to plan out study dates.

* celebrate the return of my beautiful tattooed banjo-playing mathematician boyfriend and get inspired by his recent call to serve the homeless in Guatamala - Done! We have been able to spend some quality time together. And, I have enjoyed a bountiful abundance of thoughtful gifts from my beau. We enjoyed a weekend up in Dallas a few weekends ago and went to our first fall football game together.

September Dreams

* Continue working in the art studio creating, scheming, planning potential small business ideas and research

* Lots of reading, reading, and reading: all about connecting to compassion, love and spirit. Crucial Conversations, Sacred Commerce and Artist's Way

* Women's Community - exercising, yoga, sharing, connecting with other women (book club, retreat)

* Artist Dates - ideas and schedule in the time (Art! Foodie Trips! Movies! Museums!)

* Continue blogging and reflecting (4 articles : food, spirit, and art)

* Meaningful events and programs planned and created inspired with doses of community and energy

* Financial Goals - fall planning and decluttering

* Further development - cooking, french, art, and gmat

* Get spiritual - Continue morning pages (2x a day) and 5 artist date trips

* Career - find good ideas, trends, and keep things fresh

Incorporating Little Doses of Art

Very recently, I signed a lease for a little tiny space in an art studio. I've had boxes and boxes of markers, paper, glue, scissors, and random scraps of paper from museums I have visisted taking up space in my bedroom. It was starting to overflow and take over. I guess you could call it my inner artist's hope chest. We have these inner longings that we often ignore just because of life's to-do lists: work, bills, obligations, etc. And, we never get connected to what our spirit really wants from us.


When the Highlights magazine would come in the mailbox when I was in elementary school, my favorite section was the arts and crafts spread. I just loved the seasonal activities: making something out of pine cones for fall or creating a handmade Mother's Day card in the spring. I could spend hours gluing, drawing, and coloring.


As we get older, we are told to give up on those things. Perhaps it's a little antiquated to be a fan of crafts when you get older. Maybe your friends don't enjoy it or maybe you just don't have the time.


Actually, that's just a myth. Don't wait for great amounts of time anymore. Get a pencil (any old pencil) or a Sharpie and a piece of scrap paper. Better yet, have a small notepad and a pen in your bag. While you're waiting for your friend at a restaurant or have a spare 5 minutes, start doodling. Draw what you see right now. Be inspired by the photos in the fall magazines. Look at how the light hits the street after a rainy, warm Indian summer night. Have your knitting supplies sitting on your bedstand.


Little doses of art can uplift your spirit, take your mind off things, and nourish a part of you that is often neglected as adults. Art is an amazing agent in slowing things down. An art teacher told me to slow my pace down. I really didn't understand what she meant. I always created in a harried existence: print deadlines, budgets, and organizing words and images under someone else's vision. I didn't know what my style was and I had never slowed down long enough to really, really be present in what was going on around me.


How we create can really have an effect on our spirit... Is there a project you have been aching to do for months? Why do you buy so much scrapbook paper and markers? Is there an exhibit you missed because you forgot to make it a priority to go? Those are little signs that our life needs a little creativity, shape, color, design, and art.


Create now. Appreciate art now. Live in the moment now.

Summer's Simple Luxuries

 

I was inspired by a posting from Leo Babauta's "simple guide to life" article.

less tv, more reading.
less shopping, more outdoors.
less rush, more slowness.
less consuming, more creating.
less noise, more solitude.
less on future, more in present.
less junk, more real food.
less busywork, more impact.
less driving, more walking.
less work, more play.
less worry, more smiles.

I left the office very annoyed and harried because I spent an afternoon trying my best to do a project when after a couple hours of hard work... the file disappeared. And, I had to basically start all over again. Pretty lame. And, I was frustrated and pretty pissed.

I think it's easy to find luxury and simplicity when you have free time and you can do whatever you want. I think the biggest challenges in American life is to find joy in suffering, annoyances, and to-do lists. We are at work more hours than we care to admit. We spend more time with our colleagues, prepping for meetings, and staying late to finish one more thing than any other activity out there.

What I am challenging myself to learn is to take care of me, believe in spirit, find inspiration that goes beyond my own power, and to be open to receiving love and encouragement. You'll have to invest in some doses of simple luxuries throughout your day and plan for a couple of hours somewhere in your week. It's a must. If you don't devote to the basics and taking care of you, your soul, and your health, what's really left to do.

Be Inspired By Summer's Simple Luxuries
:: fresh seasonal fruit - colorful blueberries, watermelon and peaches
:: sip some sparkling water and chai tea and take your time to relax while you drink
:: yoga, yoga, yoga - nothing cures a bad mood like breathing deeply and stretching
:: swim, swim, swim - this is a classic summertime activity! find your favorite local pool and enjoy the view of the park, the families, and pure joy
:: walking in nature - you don't have to go very far to admire beautiful summer flowers. your neighbors yard or the beautiful oak trees can provide a unique calmness
:: hang out with a dog - ever watched how some dogs find anything fascinating and or so happy to be outside? it's amazing how peaceful and delightful canine companionship can be
:: curl up to a good book - in the morning instead of thinking about all the craziness you will have to face in your day, start off with some inspiring words.
:: call a good friend - sometimes getting a good friend's perspective on things can calm the nerves, be an uplifting inspiration, or just a good laugh
:: cook a meal and share it - my friends have a weekly dinner every week and it's so much fun to see what kinds of meals people come up with
:: art museums - get out of the heat and enjoy the colors and shapes found in art.

July Reflections and August Dreams

My, my, my... it is so hottt outside! It can be quite a challenge to get moving and be inspired when the air conditioning and cool soft bedsheets keep calling your name. But perhaps, we should make the best of those moments when our body is begging us and sending us vital signals to take a tall glass of iced water, eat a juicy peach from the farmer's market, and relax in bed.

While I was sick, it was very, very difficult for me to understand the concept of rest. My mind had been on overdrive for over two years and the adrenaline was overflowing through my veins. It was no wonder I was told to give up coffee for a while since I didn't need the extra boosts of over-activity.

Chaos can happen when spirit, mind, and body become opposing forces. Remember to take a step back and live your life with some thoughts, purpose, and solitude. Realign your energy so you can be an effective, brilliant person.

July Reflections
* learning that self love, confidence, growth, and self care are necessities for my spirit, mind, and health - Thanks to the 40 Days of Self Love Practice!

* finished French II at L'Alliance Francaise - I was so surprised how much fun, challenging and renewing learning a new language can be. I am so grateful that Jacob took me to Montreal and inspired me to practice one of mes langues maternalle.

* got back into running and yoga and fitness - Thanks Melissa for reaching out and asking me to join you. I don't know if I would have been as inspired to do this on my own. It was hard to give up exercise while I was recovering and suffering. But, I am grateful for the slow, slow, slow return.

* a better perspective on life - As mentioned earlier, La Dolce Vita is a state of mind. Regardless of circumstance, we all determine how happy would want to be.

* signed up for my own sacred, creative art studio space! - I love the energy in the artist's community and I am really going to enjoy carving out and developing my creative side.

* crying and crying and crying out frustration - Sometimes, you need a good cry. Sometimes, you don't have anyone to turn to but your own self. But, the next day, you wake up and start over again. Your presence, your energy, and continued pursuit of creativity and truth are sometimes all you really have in life. May you cherish it and let it soothe you.

August Dreams
* as a I return to my work, I hope I put in the creativity and energy I need to do well in my transition time.

* may my heart be open to new opportunities - teaching, cooking, yoga, running, and any sort of challenge, luxury, and rest

* searching for a spiritual and lifestyle mentor

* crafting a creative and spiritual community

* continuing Artist's Way and doing more small business research for my creative talents

* continuing French class and sign up for art and cooking classes

* start seriously studying for the GMAT

* celebrate the return of my beautiful tattooed banjo-playing mathematician boyfriend - get inspired by his recent call to serve the homeless in Guatamala

Channeling in Some Coco Chanel

As I prepare for another day to face the craziness, the beauty, and everything else in between on another scorching day in Houston. I am inspired to think about Coco Chanel. She learned how to triumph from suffering, was independent, and had style. I often wonder when I walk into some of the local watering holes around town if women my age have given up hope or just lost a sense of style. Is it supposed to be sarcastic, funny, or ironic to wear a trucker hat slightly placed at an angle on your head, with a sundress, and uggs? I just don't get it. This is not appropriate for any age.

I've started studying the fine art of style. Mostly because my job requires me to look professional and age-appropriate, but also because I wanted to wear clothes that are comfortable in my own skin. I've also learned that obtaining a nice, wearable wardrobe is about a few quality pieces and details. You can be a frugalista and a fashionista at the same time.

Another reason why I started studying good design and fashion is because of my pursuit of art. Studying the effects that line, color, and shapes have in visual expression on canvas has started seeping over into my wardrobe. There are certain things I have started to become attracted to and I started to notice pieces in my wardrobe that I had to let go. The piling of useless articles of clothing can hold you back from having the look that you want to acquire. (This can also be said about friends you find to be boring, uninspiring time-wasters. But, alas, that is another upcoming article.)

And, ultimately, fashion shouldn't be something that one worries and frets about. Look at the natural beauty of the flowers in the field. Don't you think that God invests more time in you and making you look beautiful the way He crafted you? The way we look is a natural, effortless expression of our lifestyles. You can either purposely wear your clothes or your clothes can by default be a sloppy, unkempt result of not caring any more. Sometimes being sloppy is a cry for help or not giving a damn.

On the flip side, you can tell some thought has been invested when you see a confident and comfortable woman who looks pulled together and is adorned with uniquely picked out accessories, makeup, and groomed nails. It's a sign of self love and self respect which are both signs of true contentment, joy, and happiness.

When you wake up in the morning and take the time to dress yourself. I hope you are inspired by the words of Coco, "There is a time for work. And there is a time for love. That leaves no other time." May how you represent yourself to the outside world be a true reflection of the pride you take in your work, in your passion, and in your love.

La Dolce Vita

La Dolce Vita is not a place. La Dolce Vita is a state of mind in which I choose to beleive and trust that God will provide for me and that I deserve. La Dolce Vita is also something that you determine to experience wherever you are in life.

If you are having trouble finding la dolce vita, sometimes you may want to consider doing the following:

- You could be a little frazzled and stressed. Take a deep breath. Count to four in and four out.

- Take a long walk. Notice the sunlight. Walk in the shade. Look at the summer flowers.

- Go to Naked and pick up a pleasant smelling bath bomb. Put on a good podcast and rest.

- Yoga. Breathe. Legs up the wall and child's pose can do wonders.

- Put on a nice sundress and sip a sangria on a deck.

- Indulge in watching a movie alone. Smuggle in your favorite childhood candy and relish in the fact that you don't have to compromise what you would like to see.

- Go to the local pool and beat the heat. Sometimes it's amusing to see how children get so entertained by sprinklers. Honor how simple pleasures can make kids laugh. Swim your laps and relax.

- Go to a cafe. Sip your favorite beverage. Get out some magazines, books, pen and paper. Create. Think. And make goals.

- Call up an encouraging friend who motivates, inspires, and can criticize from a position of unconditional love and support.

- Experience nature. Change your environment. This could be as slight as buying new bed sheets, sitting on a swing, going on a hike, or riding your bike in the park.