Longing to Bloom

Sometimes I feel like my growth is not moving at the pace I want it to, and it can be so, so frustrating at times. You are hoping for signs, indicators - anything to show you that you are on the right path. Sometimes it can be emotionally frustrating during the waiting period, but these pauses are so crucial in your time of maturation.

I have to take a deep breathe and remember to be nice to myself. I have to reflect on:

Surrendering- Give up on my ideas and plans, especially the unrealistic ones where I am moving at lightening pace and am perfect. I must also learn to surrender my selfish ideas of where I should be. Let it go. So there is space to grow and expand in the way I was meant to.

Trusting- I have to trust and belief in the divine nature of life. I am not isolated in my problems, but I must trust that with my support system of people I am a part of that I will grow, mature, and change. When I'm not fighting the diving plan, it's when I honestly believe that God is there working in me, building patience, and confidence in me.

Accepting- I must be able to honestly look at my skills and weaknesses. Use whatever I have and accept that it is enough in life. I must accept that whatever my day's challenge is - is good enough and perhaps more than enough for me to handle.

and

Receiving- And, ultimately, I must be open to receiving. Once the space in my heart is more open, I have to realize that life has more possibilities. That I don't need to go at anything alone. Many people go through frustrating growth patterns, and others out there are willing to help and give, as well.

I honestly wish I knew what my next step in life will be. The frustration on not knowing where to go and not know sure of my path can be a mixed bag: exciting because you know that there is something around the corner and yet heartbreaking when you feel like you aren't making traction.

I long to bloom and grow. My mind is filled with so many ideas and things that I could be doing. I am hoping that one comes up to the surface and I get the confidence to dive in. And, I know I am at a holding pattern where I don't see the growth. I continue to focus on: surrender, trust, accept and receive.