Easter is here

Sometimes it's hard to meet with God. I know, He is supposed to be this huge priority, but how does He end up being someone we should be with instead of someone we WANT to be with. I had it all planned. I was going to participate in Holy Week and have a lot of time to reflect on Lent and finish strong in the end, but things just came up. I often wonder if my understanding of what God's presence truly is is in fact messed up in my mind. I have created rules in my head - I can only talk to God after I sang some worship songs in church, or we can only talk when I am not angry, or we can only talk when I feel at peace and am calm, or we can only talk when I have my journal...

In my mind, I know that earlier in the year, the message that Sister gave me was that God is present ALL the time. It's in what Ecclesia talks about as snapshots in beauty. If we can't appreciate the little moments with God, then how are we going to appreciate the huge moments. Are we insane? Are we ungrateful? Are we overlooking the little surprises around us? When will I learn that God wants to be with us all the time - it doesn't shut off?

So, when I feel like I wasn't present with God because I didn't formally kneel down and pray, perhaps I need to see where God in the every day and in much easier terms that I could understand and digest. St. Ignatius said that our examens should only be 5 minutes long, but done DAILY. I think my problem is that I wanted these huge highs with God. If it wasn't intense then it really didn't feel like God. (How sad/dumb/or mindless is that?)

There needs to be a shift in my heart where I know that there are other ways to achieve God's presence. Start thinking creatively towards how we can see God each day. Simply be devoted in what you have going for you in the very moment and be grateful for what God gives you now. Bask in God's gifts. His love is un-ending. I have collected little nuggets of God's presence over the past few weeks and would like to share them now.

:: the brightly colored pink azaleas outside, on my desk, in my bedroom, and bathroom
:: margaritas and a nice deck on a sunny spring Houston day
:: the Gerbera daisies in the living room (again they are pink!)
:: finding a career mentor
:: reading in bed and thinking about Artist's Way
:: on the pink theme -- taking care of myself when I feel bad. So calling in sick and getting a manicure and a pedicure. It has been a long time since I invested in the luxury of getting pink toes and fingernails done by someone else.
:: signing up for yoga teacher training even though I still feel weird about it
:: celebrating birthdays and saying goodbye to friends
:: prayerfully being convicted to increase my financial gifts even when I feel like I don't have enough money or have the ability to make sacrifices to make bigger gifts
:: making time for myself to practice yoga
:: managing my money and being mature with God's resources (hooray for the Dave Ramsey class especially on following a budget)
:: taking deep breathes, finally wearing my nightguard and taking more assertive steps to protect my health
:: having crucial conversations and defending yourself
:: oysters, beer, the beautiful weather in Galveston with the view of the Elissa and cruise ship with your boyfriend
:: hanging out with good friends at the park or on a patio with sangria
:: tasty Filipino treats and teaching him about Filipino cuisine like how to make fried rice with longonisa and day old rice
:: going on a three mile run even when you don't feel like it
:: sushi - that just needs one word
:: examining your options and being open to what God tells you to do
:: sitting on the hill at Miller Outdoor Theatre and listening to the Robbie Seay Band on Easter Sunday
:: being able to serve tons and tons of people food on a Sunday afternoon with your boyfriend
:: sharing your financial, personal, and career goals with your boyfriend and knowing you have his support and partnership
:: laughing and watching silly game shows on the Filipino Channel with my dad and boyfriend
:: being grateful that my relationship with my dad and mom are strong and healthy -- the more I talk to women my age the more I realize that this isn't the norm
:: getting to talk to other women about their relationships with God
:: making the best of what I have and being present with what's going on now
:: balancing your contentedness for now and slowly reaching for your goals

In actuality, if you are open to appreciating your surroundings, you will see how much of God's presence is flooded in your life - in the small and big and in other people. Don't limit God because you can never do it. He is without limits and boundaries. Be grateful that you are a part of His beautiful glory and creation.