eclectic+electric+energizing

I am using the terms eclectic, electric, and energizing because that's how I feel like my February has turned out to be. First off, I used it because I've recently made a nice mix of music for the the month which has a nice melange of artists: Portishead, Flaming Lips, Moby, and Lusine. I think there are some themes running in my mind that I'm trying to be conscious of these past few weeks:

1) Connectivity to God's grace and gratitude: In order to have a real authentic relationship with God, you have to spend time with him and get to know him. And, I don't just mean indulging in just spending time alone. Sometimes, that just ends up being all about you... I mean spending time thinking about your circumstance, resources, and situations that lead up to ultimately serve, praise, and reverence God. I think we can get trapped into being our own cheerleaders and forget the vastness and greatness of God's grace. We can't do it on our own, and we weren't made to do all of this on our own. Remember that this is all for God through and through...

2) Energy and Electricity from God: In Cameron's "Artist Way," she speaks about affirmations. Some affirmations are very, very hard to face and trust. The following are the ones I grapple with the most:

:: I am a channel for God's creativity, and my work comes to good.
:: My dreams come from God and God has the power to accomplish them.
:: I am willing to let God create through me.

If we don't have faith, have joy, and lovingly accept the providence of God, we will not grow. Period. That's it. No trust, belief, and faith in the spirit leads to staleness. I don't want to be stale. And the result of growing, comes from being in tune with God, trusting God, and facing some ugly things that keep us from God. Again, we shouldn't guilt or punish ourselves, we should calmly accept that we don't do this on our own. We should face our barriers and lean into God even more. That's what character-building and maturity is about.

3) Financial Savvy and Bliss: Three weeks ago, I started the Dave Ramsey class. I heard about this class almost 7 years ago and watched other people turn their lives around. I never listened. I even tried reading up on certain financial tips and incorporating them on my own, but it often just sucked. I am at a point in my life where I had to look in the mirror and realize in order to continue growing I was going to have to manage this aspect of my life better. You can't work hard and just hope for the best. You actually have to plan in order to fulfill your dreams and help others. So, I hope this spring is a time that I can teach myself new habits and better discipline.

4) Serving Women and Being in a Faith Community: Connectedness to God doesn't just happen on your own. We are made to connect to others and be part of the Church. The body is one of God's most important instruments. If we are not part of the body, how can we truly relate to God and experience the beauty of God. Yes, prayer and individual time is crucial, but so is being part of a faith community. I have often wished to be part of a faith community, but lately gave up on trying to be part of one. The opportunity has come up for me to start serving other women. I think supporting women is crucial: as daughters, sisters, mothers, and employees we have a unique insight on the world and oftentimes we are spiritually exhausted because of all the roles we have. I hope that in my service to women I can inspire spiritual rejuvenation and connectivity. And, just have a spot in my life, where I can meet amazing people and serve more.

5) Gratitude and Simplicity: We are so driven to continue chasing carrots and we forget about what we already have. Having a gratitude perspective reminds us of the overwhelming grace God gives and reminds us that extending grace is our role as Christians. Ugh! That's so hard sometimes. We are hardwired to continue going and going and going to the point of exhausting. If we are not doing, we are not accomplishing and we are nothing.

That's a sad perspective to have on life. :(

Start thinking and reflecting on your actions and events that come up in your life. What did you do this past weekend? What were the highlights? Where was God present in those moments? And, where could you have used God's guidance? There are messages from Him if you listen and work with Him.

Reflecting on Things Gives You More Appreciation on the Abundances in Your Life
:: Great conversation with a colleague while enjoying a good cup of black bean soup and veggie sandwich
:: A long yoga session with live music from DJ Sun
:: Being able to watch Hotel Babylon and eat a scrumptious meal cooked by my boyfriend
:: Having a good massage --> getting the stiffness and stress rubbed out of my neck and shoulders and getting some rest
:: Finding a beautiful reproduction of Byzantine artwork for my mother's birthday and knowing that she would enjoy it
:: Watching hockey with friends
:: Belly-dancing
:: Watching Canada kick butt in hockey
:: Enjoying a meal at Tokyo One
:: Being challenged to face brokenness
:: Riding bikes with my boyfriend
:: Getting more sleep
:: A glass of wine and thinking about Montelpuciano
:: Discussing dreams and fears honestly with someone who is willing to listen

Reflecting is so, so, so important. Slow down and experience things. Breathe things in and let them excite your senses. Close your eyes. Feel the warmth and embrace your life.

February Thoughts -- Inner Reflection

Going on the silent retreat at the Cenacle was an awesome experience for me. If you've never been to The Cenacle, I recommend that you go for a visit or at least visit Terry Hershey Park , they are both very beautiful and peaceful places. And, for all of us living in Houston, it's not a very far drive. I only spoke to three people the whole weekend,and for someone who likes to talk, it was a really interesting change of pace for me. Sister Roselle was my spiritual director for the weekend and she asked me to ponder on a few things and spend an afternoon in silence.

:: Be thankful and blessed that you decided to take a time out.
:: Retreats are no just for myself, but for the relationship between me and God
:: I forget that spirituality is a two-way street sometimes -- God is involved in the process. I may have chosen to take a time out, but God motivated me to come.
:: Why?
:: Who is God? What image do I see when I think of him?
:: What would God think of me?

The amazing thing about taking away life's so-called "distractions" is that it helps purify your perspective and you start to feel more present and in the moment. I get so caught up with this multi-tasking mentality that I end up doing a bunch of stuff at a mediocre level.

That afternoon I started to notice things:

:: quiet
:: spending time outside on a swing with real sunshine
:: noticing where I come up short and where I should grow
:: slowing things down and having the courage to be mindful and intentional
:: listening, listening, listening
:: growing gratitude for my relationships with family, friends and bf
:: having what I need

The crazy thing about silent retreats is that during meals you don't talk to anyone. I was partially relieved and partially weirded out by it. On one hand, I was glad that I didn't have to come up with my upbeat persona and tell people who I am, what I do for a living, why I was here. Nobody had to hear it. But on the other hand, I almost felt like I was a patient at a mental facility. I mean, we are humans. God made us to interact. We were all separated at our own tables and forced to face different directions. Yeah, the meals were the weirdest thing.

But, for the purpose of silent retreating, taking away the conversations and creating silence really forces you back to thinking about you and God; your flaws; what your bring to the life God gave you. It was an interesting exercise. You also notice more details in nature, in your environment, in the sounds, and in how things taste and smell.

How can you and I bring retreat elements into our lives each day? We are always on sacred ground because God is within us and in everything even when we are not conscious of it. That's an amazing thing to think about.

woah - I didn't really sign up for all of that

Ugh! Have you ever woken up and wondered how the heck did it all end up this way? I've been having one of those moments, days, months. I think it's time for some spiritual reflection, inner searching and revising.

Out of the blue today, I signed up for a silent retreat for this weekend. It's themed around Lent which is often a good time to think about how you can be spiritually enriched and Christ centered. The problem for me is I've gotten so lazy, lazy, lazy.
I have lost my sense of direction, and I'm hoping that some quiet time on my own can help me get recentered. I've always dog-eared this retreat center as a place for me to go and chill out. And, that was probably more than FOUR years ago....

But, that's okay. Things happen for a reason I suppose and maybe this time I will learn something new, reflect on what's been going on, and feel renewed. Because right now I feel spiritually crusty, crabby, and tired.

2010 - New Moon, Mindfulness and Presence

I'd like to open up my first entry for 2010 with poetry from David Whyte...

Faith
I want to write about faith
about the way the moon rises
over cold snow, night after night.



faithful even as it fades from fullness
slowly becoming that last curving and
impossible
sliver of light before the final darkness.



But I have no faith in myself
I refuse it even the smallest entry.



Let this then, very small poem
like a new moon, slender and barely open
be the first pray that opens me
to faith.


Lately friends I have been struggling with faith. It almost feels like the back-at-home-for-the-holidays food coma I sometimes experience. Ever been home for the holidays and stuffed your face with so much good comfort food you just feel so, so sluggish? Or, ever felt so wimpy - you are so lost in what's going on you no longer feel spiritually revived? During these dreary winter days, I have felt that.

But, like a new moon, there is hope and eventually a new time will come when we shine. Even with a tiny sliver or a brilliant full moon day, we must always feel MINDFULLNESS AND FULLY PRESENT WITH WHAT IS. That is a promise and a commitment that I must make with myself.

At the end of a really good yoga class yesterday, my teacher mentioned the peace, the energy and light that was glowing within us. It's that peacefulness and comfort we sense after doing something good for ourselves and taking care of our bodies. We can always bring that joy wherever we are if we choose to. Through "prayer" and "affirmations" we can move from our suffering. The suffering we oftentimes feel when we dwell in our past, worrying about the next day, or yearn for a better day.

I hope that each moment I won't live with regret and continue to stretch and push past these edges. Mindfulness and presence is what I seek for today.

Sketches from My Travels

 

 

 

 

Last week, I had the chance to hang up some of the ink sketches that I did while on vacation in August. They are a quick and hasty set that I did while visiting Barcelona and London. While taking photograph does lend itself to a much easier way to capture moments, I do like the way drawing can slow your experience down more, help you enjoy the present moment, and appreciate the details more.

Art Every Day Month - Day #2

"The person I am today is not the same person I will be tomorrow."

I like this quote because it reflects on the changes, challenges, and progress we all go through. Without a vision or purpose, it is sometimes hard to really perceive the change that can occur within each of us. Last month, I brainstormed a vision board project and the photo above is what I had come up with...

I have been doing a lot of thinking thanks to some good books and guides that I've read recently (80/20 Principle, The War of Art, Hip Tranquil Chick, and Refuse to Choose). While I seem to have a lot of interests and projects, there are common themes that I seem to pursue and return to over and over. And, I ripped up photos and words that reflected those common threads.

:: Travel - I love visiting foreign places a lot and the challenge of decoding and learning a new language in order to survive is a lot of fun. I am also attracted to the relaxed and luxurious style of living other countries adopt. I like being able to see how different foods, people, artwork, and landscapes come together.

:: Work which is Rewarding - "Refuse to Choose" talks about how scanners have a child-like enthusiasm about their work and projects. They are curious and love to learn. The reward is more in the excitement and learning stages instead of the pay for most scanners. I like being part of work that has a direct influence on a greater level, gives a sense of spiritual renewal, and provides creative challenges.

:: Spiritual and Christ-Centered - God handcrafted each of us and there is an original intent in all of us with the abilities and gifts He gave us. There was a lot in Ephesians that really resonated with me. So, the vision board has a lot of quotes from Paul that motivated and inspired me to live with spirit, hope and faith.

:: Yoga/Mantra: I like how the mind/body/spirit interconnect with our bodies and relaxes me.

:: Biking/Running/Swimming: I just finished two triathlons over the summer and am training for a half marathon coming up. Being physically active and pursuing physical challenges is something very interesting and inspiring for me.

:: Escape: I like the luxury of reading in bed, warm hot baths, a yoga session, and a good ipod playlist. Even the smell of chili simmering or hearing the washing machine going on are all details I like to escape in and renew a sense of balance.

I think my vision board reflects a lot of those things, and it has helped me to dig deeper into what I have learned and what I which to do in the future.

I wish people (myself included) didn't beat ourselves up about why we haven't accomplished what we need to do yet. There is a balance we have to achieve between presence and pushing our edges into the future. It's a delicate and lovely thing.

The vision board is a nice way to balance those things because you take what you've experienced and it motivates you to jump forward and reach for new moments.

"Your intent should pour out of you. It should emanate from every cell of your being so that you attract the people and circumstances that can support you in manifesting your desires." Dianne Collins

When we realize that we already have everything we need to begin living out our dreams, I think it makes it easier to start.

November is Art is Every Day Month - Day One

This is the second time I have come across this quote by Goethe, "Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it." So, I think it's worth pondering about again. I like how Goethe challenges us to be bold in our actions which can be really hard when we sometimes just wanna get by.

Beginning! So, this month I have signed on to The Art is Every Day Month Challenge where a group of people/ artists' will be creating, challenging perspectives, and thinking in new ways for 30 days. And, even before I had much time to really think if I had the time to do the challenge, my heart, mind and soul jumped up and down and said, "Let's do it!" The month actually coincides with me having the opportunity to hang up my drawings at my art school. I'll have to post pictures soon and explain more about it later.

The first challenge was to make a commitment to doing the challenge. The leader of this month long challenge, Leah Picken Kolidas, wanted us to make a piece of art that reflects on our promise to bring more creativity in our lives. As I started doodling and thinking, I started to think about what inspires me to do art and I thought about how the relationship to God and spirituality can really be linked to how I create.

I've thought about doing more spiritual artwork years ago, but it was just a thought that would come across my mind and never stick. I figured this challenge would be a good time to bring it back up again. So, I reflected more on how art can motivate me to meditate more and think beyond myself. In some way, I'd like to retrain my mind to not just get by, but to really ponder, pray and get past a lifestyle that is about just getting by or checking off my to-do list for the day.

I think art can slow my thoughts down, appreciate the details around me, and recognize the beauty that was already created. I took a small square of plywood and just started cutting out really interesting quotes by artists.

::Picasso:: "Painting is just another way of keeping a diary."
::Matisse:: "Creativity takes courage."
::Cezanne:: "A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art."

I also pasted a postcard photo of the crucifix from Sant'Antimo Abbey that I got in Montalcino, Italy. It reminded me of a very beautiful day in Tuscany and the gracefulness of Christ-centered silence and meditation. I wanted it to remind me that spirituality is an important influence in my art.

I also put in some prayers that I wrote on little notecards last month after I read Ephesians.

With a little glue, pieces of inspiration in place, and a bit of acrylic finger painting, I finished my first piece for this month of new challenges! I've hung it up in my bedroom so I can see it in the beginning and end of each day.

I look forward to my new challenge, and I am glad that I have a new spark of motivation to see how I can connect spirituality and art together once again.